


I'm Sorry, It's Okay.

by cactusoctupus



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Awkward First Times, Christmas fic, Comedy, First Time, Happy Birthday Victor!, Jealousy, Lol maybe not first, M/M, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, Mistletoe, Oneshot, PWP, Porn with Plot(?), Romance, Smut, and sex, happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 21:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9035105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactusoctupus/pseuds/cactusoctupus
Summary: AU where Yuuri is not Victor's fan. In fact, he is very forgetful. He is at Detroit at university when he first meets Victor, who also attends the same school. Yuuri would go out with Victor if he wasn't so jealous but he is, so he does the thing that seems to make sense. Except Yuuri isn't so good with feelings but then who is?College AU! Yuri!!! on ice





	

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas Guys! This is my present to the fandom, after a long time of just receiving.

Believe it or not, Yuuri first met Victor not in the rink but in a cafe. It was his second year in Detroit, in college. He was at his favorite cafe after unpacking all his stuff in the dorms to do his homework.  
When he first saw him, he didn't think much of it. He was just another foreigner in a foreign country. Attractive but still, it never occurred him to make contact. Yuuri himself had just started to speak in english. It was true what they said, it takes time to speak it out loud. Even if you understand what they're all saying long before you did. 

Victor was smiley. He smiled at Yuuri when he came in and he always sat two tables away from his own corner. Americans were friendly like that. They said "hello" and "excuse me" when you were in their space. Sometimes even if you were just in the same elevator. Yuuri tried to smile back as natural as possible as though he smiled at complete strangers all the time. 

It was tiring and annoying. He had anxiety about these things and when Victor came through the door he could feel himself getting tense. None of the other customers acknowledged him, not even the barista who he saw almost everyday. That was why he liked it here so much.  
And it didn't stop at that. Victor was the type of guy who attracted admirers. And not just within close circles. A couple of girls who wore his university's logo started to sit next to him. Whispering about Victor, staring and being giggly. 

One time it got very loud. It aggravated him so much, if he had a more forceful personality he would have made a complaint. Or at least a glare in their general direction. But all he did was pack up his stuff and leave. He was at the door when he met Victor, who was on his way back from picking up his drink. 

"Hello" said the strange silver haired man.  
"Hi" he replied, shifting his bag over pointedly.  
"Leaving already?" said Victor. He had an accent, he wasn't american.  
"Yes. You can leave whenever you want here" said Yuuri, a little annoyed. More confident knowing the man was also a foreigner.  
"But you've been here only..." Victor looked at his watch "seventeen minutes."

And as if on queue the girls exploded into laughter. Yuuri gave him a pointed as if to say, 'There. Does that answer your question?' And he pushed at the door.  
"Wait!" said Victor. Victor was always nosy, he liked to poke around in other people's business. He was too interested in others. Victor had never understood why Yuuri felt overwhelmed sometimes. Why he needed so much time to himself.  
"You shouldn't leave! You should tell them" he said.  
"Tell them what? This is a cafe, they don't have to be quiet" said Yuuri.  
"But you were here first!" said Victor.  
And then Victor was going up to the girls. A determined look on his face. Yuuri tried to grab at the stranger's arms to stop him but when that didn't work he started to turn to the door. But just before stepping out, his curiosity stopped him. Would the girls be angry? Would they get in a fight? 

For a minute the girls' stared, their faces masked, surprised that a stranger had come up to them like that. Then they looked over at Yuuri, which made him a little nauseous. Victor was smiling, so friendly and kind you could tell from his face. The girls responded in kind, cooing and appreciative.  
And then they stood up, the three were still talking. Joking around and laughing. He tried to listen in but found that he couldn't understand what they were saying. Were they all from the same country? And then the girls left. Just like that. Yuuri still doesn't know what happened. And Victor would never say. The girls looked back at him as they left, looking at each other and giggling. 

Victor motioned him to his seat. Yuuri felt stuck, his mind still set on leaving. It would be awkward now not to talk to the attractive foreigner.  
"Or you could sit together if you want" said Victor, his blue eyes shining.  
Yuuri put down his bag on the chair opposite. Victor smiled bigger than ever.  
"You don't have to talk. I have work to do too." he said.  
Yuuri dragged the chair towards him, he could feel his heart pumping blood to his head. The stranger was more handsome than ever close up.

They talked. Yuuri found himself asking questions. Like, what did you tell those girls? Oh just some excuses. Where are you from? Russia. How long were you here? A year. Really? So was Yuuri. And so forth. They went to the same university, how come they never crossed paths? Victor had just transferred from Boston. His university had a change of policy over something important to him. 

The conversation dwindled after a while. But Yuuri felt happy knowing that he had made another friend. They compared classes and found they had lots in common.  
They promised to meet up when they saw each other as they left.  
"Do you live in the dorms?" said Victor.  
"You do too?"  
"Actually, I share an apartment. But I can walk you there if you want" said Victor, his smile hopeful. Something grew in Yuuri, like a little beacon of light, becoming brighter and surer as they poked and made fun of each other all the way to the dorms. Their eye contacts getting suspiciously longer.  
It became a mass of butterflies wriggling in his stomach. They were in the corridors, in front of his room when Victor saw the mistletoe on the door.  
"A mistletoe already? It's not even December yet"  
"My roommate likes to celebrate early"

It was then that Victor leaned down and pressed his lips against his. His tongue licking between his lips and Yuuri found himself opening his mouth, Victor's coffee filled breath entering him as he did so. Yuuri turned his head a little so their noses wouldn't bump and he felt Victor's tongue slide down his throat. Yuuri put his arms around Victor's neck as Victor pulled him in by the waist. They separated and then pushed back, like they were breathing together. 

It seemed like moments later when they released. Yuuri looked at Victor with wonder.  
"I've never done that before" he confessed.  
Victor smiled, "really?"  
Yuuri nodded, giddy. Victor smiled back.  
"Well I'm glad you kissed back" he said.  
"Me too" said Yuuri. 

They should have exchanged numbers, he thought. As he lay on his bed, he made a grunt as his roommate Phichit called out his arrival. They should be texting right now. He wanted to see him. He had crushes before but it usually seemed to fade after he found that it was mutual. This one seemed to grow.  
They had classes together. And he knew where he lived, he just needed to be patient. 

He didn't have to be patient for a minute longer. It was an unpleasant shock when Yuuri found Victor on ice on next early morning. Yuuri gaped, unbelieving, as the enigmatic stranger from the cafe landed a perfect spin right in front of his eyes. When Victor said that he was an athlete he didn't think... No, more like he didn't want to think that he was also a figure skater.  
"Are you okay Yuuri?" said his coach. Than he looked at where he was looking.  
"Oh that's Victor Nikiforov. You know the one? He was winning gold back to back then suddenly he had an injury and he had to have surgery? Now he's back!"  
Of course he was. How could he have forgotten? He was Victor Nikiforov.  
Victor landed a triple axel. Clean and seemingly effortless.  
Ciao Ciao whistled.  
"You're going to need to work harder now" he commented as he left Yuuri with his thoughts. A cold weight dropped in his stomach as Victor flew over the ice.

He felt himself going more and more stiff as time went by. His friends were looking at him now, asking what was wrong as he stumbled the tenth time. He tried hard to avoid Victor's friendly gaze. Skating as far away from him as possible as he felt Victor's curious stare sting his back. And when the lunch bell came, he flew to the far opposite exit away from his friends and coach. Who seemed to understand that he needed time to recollect. 

He heard a whoosh as Victor came to a stop behind him. His hands gripping the edge of the rink behind his. Yuuri immediately sat down on the benches, his blade guards were on the opposite side. He clawed at his laces with practised hands as Victor sat next to him. Doing the same thing.  
"So I noticed we didn't exchange numbers last night" said Victor.  
Yuuri looked back at him, and managed a small smile.  
"Me too. I wonder why" he said. And Victor grinned as he took out his phone and they exchanged numbers. Victor's name glared at him on screen in clear black lettering.  
"Do you want to eat lunch together?" said Victor, still smiling. Sounding like he memorised the words out of a text book.  
Yuuri paused, not looking at him anymore.  
"I'm sorry I have plans with friends" he said, standing up.  
"So introduce me" he said. So easily, like that wouldn't bother him at all. It made him angry, it was so unfair.  
Yuuri turned and nodded. "Sure" he said, "okay."  
Victor reached out, spinning Yuuri back to him with a pull at his elbow.  
"Yuuri... What's wrong? Aren't you glad to see me?"  
Yuuri pressed his own lips together, unsure of what to say.  
"I was but..." he said, "I just didn't know you would be competing."  
"Oh" said Victor, "Oh right."  
Victor leaned his face closer to him.  
"It doesn't have to change anything" said Victor.  
"It does for me"  
"Why? Because we would be competing? Aren't you competing with your other friends too?"  
"But they're not as good as you!" Yuuri burst out. He felt his face flame up in embarrassment at his own outburst. Victor dropped his hand on his elbow.  
Yuuri sighed.  
"You want to be friends?"  
"Of course I do" said Victor, "if we can't be something else. Then I'd like to be friends."  
Yuuri shuffled, his feet cold. Victor looked at him, anticipating. Yuuri decided to meet his gaze as he spoke.  
"I'm glad you made a full recovery Victor. I really am. But you don't know what it's like to be adequately good at something that's your whole life."  
Victor was looking at him, his eyes searching.  
"So don't judge me when I say I don't want to be your friend... or something else. I'm not going to be that bigger person."  
Yuuri didn't look back and Victor didn't chase him. 

"I can't believe we're going to be practising with Victor Nikiforov" said Guang Hong.  
"I can't believe Phichit has his phone number" said Leo.  
Yuuri choked on his sandwich. Guang Hong cried out in jealousy.  
"Why do you have his phone number?" said Mickey.  
"I invited him to Yuuri's birthday party. And he said he would come." said Phichit.  
"I want Victor's phone number!" said Guang hong.  
"Right? Me too!" said Leo.  
"Don't you guys have any sense of pride? Don't be such fans geesh. We're supposed to be his rivals!" said Mickey.  
Yuuri felt a nudge at his side.  
"You understand right?" Mickey said.  
Guang Hong, Phichit and Leo all looked at him.  
"Right" he said.  
Phichit snorted, "didn't you say you were going to buy his poster? Remember that?"  
Yuuri blushed.  
"It was a phase, I completely forgot about him anyway. I saw him at the cafe and I didn't even recognise him."  
"You saw him at a cafe? Where?" asked Guang Hong.  
"Can we go there now? I want a latte" said Leo.  
Yuuri groaned. 

Victor was there at the cafe. But he wasn't alone this time. He was there with Christophe Giacometti, the gold medalist in the last grand prix.  
"Guys!" said Leo, "it's Christophe!"  
He hid behind the others as they ordered. Trying to come up with an excuse so he could leave.  
"Leo! Phichit!" yelled a familiar voice.  
"Chris!" replied everyone. 

They rushed toward them, like a herd of wild animals. Mickey was smiling too, Yuuri tried to feel more excited, and less overwhelmed.  
"Wilbur!" said Chris. Yuuri groaned, the memories came roaring back as Chris stood up and dragged Yuuri to the front. Victor was staring with intense interest, it hurt to see his pretty face again.  
"Wilbur?" said Phichit, his eyes lit in wonder "Yuuri that's so you!"  
Yuuri ground his teeth together, Phichit was going to pay for that.  
Chris wrapped his arms around his chest and pulled him up. Despite the closeness, it was not the contact that made him want to crawl into a hole.  
"You're getting fat again Wilbur" Chris whispered into his ear.  
Chris put him down, Yuuri felt faint with shame. He wondered if Chris had ever been sued for sexual harrassement.  
"This is Victor" said Chris.  
"Oh, we know each other" said Victor, "we've studied in this cafe together."  
There was an immediate protest.  
"Yuuri what the hell?"  
"How come you never said anything?"  
"I don't think he recognised me" said Victor.  
There was a deafening silence.  
"What the hell Yuuri! That's so rude!" said Phichit.  
"Cool" said Mickey.  
"Why are you all making a fuss now? I just told you! That's why we came here!"  
"You studied together and you still didn't know?" said Leo. "That's embarrassing."  
"But you're coming to the party?" asked Guang Hong.  
"Of course"  
"That's great! Can I sit?" asked Leo.  
Victor nodded. They all sat around pulling tables and chairs together as they chatted. 

Every so often he would see Victor going home with someone else. A flash of long hair and a pretty face. It made his gut twist like a pretzel. He had no rights to feel jealous but even when Victor was joking around with his friends he felt like punching something. And he hated himself for it. 

And Yuuri was struggling even though he should be feeling more motivated than ever. He had a humiliating loss in his last grand prix. He would have to make it up this time round. Make Victor remember his name in a different way. It was his own fault too. If he had made an impression at the last grand prix, Victor would have recognised him and they would have gotten to know each other as skaters from the very beginning. He tried hard not to let Victor's obvious talent get to him. It helped to talk to Chris, who had also transferred. Chris was easy going, so easy going it made even Yuuri loosen up. 

Although it was also Chris's fault that the Wilbur thing was catching on like wildfire. He even heard people calling him piggy on ice. When he wasn't even that fat. He just had a hard time losing extra weight every now and then. It didn't help that whenever he caught Victor's eye on the ice or even in class, he felt himself reaching for something sweet and deep fried. 

 

It was his birthday and Phichit was taking pictures of himself preparing for the party. It was supposed to be a "surprise" but he kept getting notices from his instagram, his friends very obviously decorating the international students' house.  
Mickey came to pick him up after class. And when he opened the house door, a bunch of people, some he didn't even know, yelled "Happy birthday!" so loud he almost burst an eardrum. Phichit was there holding a cake.  
Predictably, the minute he blew out the candles, they pushed his face inside the cake. His friends took more pictures and he had to go upstairs to wipe it off. 

He was comfortably drunk on the couch when Victor came to the house. His arms around a girl's waist. Yuuri recognized her from his classes. She was probably an athlete too. She had a sporty look about her. Behind them was Chris. Yuuri stumbled to them and Chris had to catch him when he almost tripped over someone. Who definitely didn't even know whose birthday he was celebrating. The house was getting extremely crowded. Phichit knew so many people. He was charismatic, like Victor. Victor who liked girls too apparently.  
"Hello" he said. Victor natural spark faded a little as he saw him. Chris smiled back, smile bright like a million watts.  
"Hi" said Chris, "happy birthday." Yuuri smiled and nodded.  
"Hello Yuuri" said the girl. She had blonde hair and eyes so green he could tell even in bad lighting. Green like the colour of his envy.  
"Wow" he said, "you're so pretty."  
The girl laughed pleasantly.  
"You're cute" she said.  
"And drunk!" exclaimed Chris. Victor frowned.  
"Happy birthday" said Victor, "I brought you a present." It was green and shiny with a little card attached.  
"Oh" said Yuuri, laughing "Phichit's collecting them." What was he even saying?  
"I'll go find him" said Victor, smiling. "You'll be here?" Yuuri nodded. And the girl followed as he left.  
Yuuri looked up at Chris.  
"You're handsome" said Yuuri.  
Chris laughed, "are you coming on to me?"  
Yuuri laughed too.  
"I'm a virgin" he said. He felt giddy as Chris laughed so hard, he had to hold onto his knees.  
"Now that's a pick up line" he said.  
Chris held him close.  
"How drunk are you?" Chris whispered.  
Yuuri held him right back. It was too hot in here. Was Victor getting back yet? But then who cared about Victor? He had a girlfriend. What a slut.  
"I don't like crowded places" he said. Chris nodded and walk him out of the house. The chilly night air felt pleasant. He didn't feel drunk anymore. He was more drunk on the atmosphere more than anything.  
"Do you have a car?"  
Chris laughed, it was so easy with Chris. Why couldn't it be the same for Victor?  
"We can take a cab, I'll show you my house." 

The apartment was better furnished than his dorm and a lot more spacious.  
"I hope you're not afraid of dogs." he said.  
The dog was a poodle, it reminded him of his own dog. He was so affectionate, licking him and whining against his hand when Yuuri withdrew his petting.  
"My dog died before I came here" he said.  
"Oh really? I'm sorry" said Chris.  
Is that really what people said when someone died? It felt weird and out of place.  
"You want anything?" said Chris from the fridge.  
Yuuri shrugged, "Give me anything" he said.  
Chris handed him a juice box as he took out a beer for himself. They both sat on the couch. Chris put the TV on. They silently drank, mind racing. Should he wait for Chris to do something? Did he even want anything to happen? Was Chris expecting anything at all? He did say that he was a virgin and all but he was Wilbur. Who never did these kind of things. 

The juice box gurgled and then suddenly, Chris was kissing him. Tasting fully of beer. It was a lot different from what he had with Victor. It was rushed, intense with no sweetness. Chris pushed him down on the couch as he kissed him. Pulling at his jeans as his tongue slid over his own. Yuuri felt heady with lust. Chris was handsy, his hands rubbing the front of jeans, which had unbuttoned and already sliding down. Chris kissed and sucked on his neck and he felt himself be lifted up. Yuuri put wrapped his arms around his neck as Chris opened the door to his room and dropped him on the bed. The bedroom smelt like Chris. Chris closed the door and put the lamp on, collecting the condom and lube from the bed stand then climbing onto the bed towards him. His eyes focused and intentional. 

Yuuri wrapped himself around him as Chris kissed him and helped him take his clothes off. His own glasses slid off when Chris made a smooth gesture over his face. He was surprised how easy it was, taking his clothes off in front of Chris. Letting Chris fuck him with his tongue as Yuuri cried out, hands grasping the sheets. It was easy because he didn't want Chris. He just wanted Chris to want him. The way he felt towards Victor. He wanted to feel the desire directed at him, and he wanted to feel it on his skin.

There was a crackle of foil and the sound of lube being squeezed out and then he was being fingered open. Chris was quick to add more fingers and it burned so much Yuuri gasped. Chris sucked on his cock when he heard which made him cry out. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut as he tried hard not to come.  
He didn't really get to look at Chris' penis but the burn he felt was intense as he pushed in, Yuuri almost wanted to quit right then. Chris stroked his stomach and hips apologetically, kissing him slowly as he felt himself adjust. The burning came back but when it hit the spot Yuuri didn't want to quit anymore and he moaned as he grabbed Chris' hips, leaving marks with his nails. Chris was starting to slide in and out and with a choked gasp, he leaned forwards again tonguing Yuuri's ear.

"Oh Wilbur" he said. Yuuri yelled out his laugh and kept laughing as Chris built up a rhythm, the springs of the mattress squeaking comically in synch with each thrust. 

He was a little hung over when he woke up. It was ten in the morning and he felt pretty much refreshed, he felt a lot better than he had been for a long time. He heard Chris singing in the shower and he wondered when it would be a good time to leave.  
It was his first time, he thought. And it was so easy. He put on his boxers and t-shirt, his throat was painfully dry.  
He opened the bedroom door and entered the kitchen. He wondered where the poodle had gone. He opened the fridge, grabbing the same juice box and drinking from it when he heard a bark at the front door.  
"Chris?"  
Yuuri froze behind the refrigerator door. The dog barked and came into view, dragging his leash behind him. As his owner also locked eyes with him.  
"Yuuri?" he said, his eyes wide and unbelieving.  
"Hi" he said. He closed the refrigerator door. The dog put their paws on his hips.  
Victor was in his workout clothes. He looked at Yuuri up and down. He was frowning as if he couldn't work it all out.  
"Hey Victor!" said Chris, in his towel.  
Victor looked at them both, his expression hurt. Yuuri instantly wanted to apologise even though he hadn't done anything wrong.  
"I have to be at the rink" said Victor. 

They ate breakfast in silence. Yuuri stuffed down the french toast Chris made for him and quickly retreated to the bedroom. Where he hurriedly put on his clothes. Chris stared and grabbed him when he tried to rush past.  
"Are you okay?" said Chris.  
"Yeah I'm alright" he realised it must have looked weird. The tense silence as he ate breakfast. Chris looked anxious. And it made him feel guilty.  
"It was great. It felt great. It's just... I didn't know Victor was your roommate."  
"Oh... did that bother you a lot?"  
"I guess. I don't feel very comfortable with him. That's all"  
There was a pause and then Chris smiled.  
"Don't worry. I'm not expecting anything."  
"Oh that's good" he laughed "I was wondering if I should say something"  
"Don't worry your sweet little head piggie-on-icy. You won't even feel like anything had happened. It was just a one night stand."  
"Seriously" said Yuuri, "don't call me that."

"What's wrong with you?" Chris glided towards him at the edge of the rink. Victor pretended to stretch so that he wouldn't have to see his face.  
"Seriously. Why can't you look at me?"  
Victor turned, looking straight at him.  
"Why was Yuuri in the apartment?"  
"Oh, he slept over" Chris said smiling, "naked."  
"You guys had sex?" said Victor.  
"Do you know what he said to me after you left?" Victor shook his head and Chris put his mouth to his ear.  
"He said, I'm a virgin." Chris laughed.  
"What?"  
"Can you believe it? I called him Wilbur during sex, it was funny as hell."  
Yuuri and Phichit were on the opposite side of the rink. Both looking at Phichit's phone. Most definitely talking about the party last night. Was Yuuri talking about Chris?  
"Was it... was it good?"  
"Yeah. I was great. Wilbur was all over me. Wanna know the details? I'll tell you if you buy me lunch."  
Victor glided away. 

Yuuri felt light as air as he glided over the ice. It really did him good, getting laid. Victor's popped up in his mind again but he pushed it aside. It wouldn't do any good to have bad thoughts. Why was he feeling guilty anyway? Victor probably went home with that girl. 

He was sitting down, taking off his skates when Victor appeared in front of him. Phichit was chatting but went quiet as he looked at Victor's face. Yuuri looked up to see Victor give a stiff smile.  
"Can I talk to you? Alone?"  
"Sure"  
Yuuri looked at Phichit pointedly. Phichit went with a raised eyebrow. There will be questions later, his eyes told him.  
"What is it?" said Yuuri.  
"Are you and Chris a thing a now?"  
"What thing?"  
"A thing. Going out. That kind of thing."  
"Oh no" Yuuri said, looking down to release his other foot, "Chris made it clear he didn't want anything like that."  
"And that's fine with you?"  
Yuuri looked up again, "yeah. It's fine."  
"Would it be fine if it was the same with me?"  
"What?"  
"You don't want to be friends, and you don't want to go out. So how about we just have sex?"  
"Um I don't know... would you be fine with that?"  
"I'm the one asking"  
Victor's stare made him nervous. His face was carefully void of expression, he looked almost bored. Which was something he had never seen on Victor before.  
"I just thought that you were going out with someone."  
"Oh that's over" he said, smiling.  
"I guess that should be fine then." Well he sure recovered quick.  
"I'll text you" said Victor and he turned his back on him. 

Yuuri was spacing out through out all his classes. He wondered if he had done the right thing. Agreeing to "just have sex" with Victor. Could he even handle that type of thing? Was Victor just having a jealous fit? What if Victor got bored and just dumped him? What if he got bored? Was what he had for Victor just sexual attraction? Yuuri was staring at Victor a lot, admiring how he looked. And he was definitely interested.

And he didn't want to go out with Victor Nikiforov. The skating legend. Competing against someone who was also his boyfriend? It was bound to end badly. Not when Yuuri was the way he was now. Victor was a star in his own right. What would his fans think of Yuuri? He wasn't as talented as Victor or as attractive.  
He sighed and slumped over his desk as he thought about how Victor looked just now, with his strained smile. His face carefully blank, his eyes cold.  
Maybe this was good. They'd both work the tension out. Maybe they could even be friends after. 

'Phichit is out. Come to my room' Yuuri texted that evening as he tried to squeeze in some study before the big event.  
'Okay' Victor replied.  
As soon as Yuuri saw the reply he could no longer concentrate on his books. He looked at the condoms and lube he had bought on his bed stand. He had never had to buy anything like that. When he was at the drugstore he couldn't even look at the girl at the counter because he was so embarrassed.  
Yuuri turned on the lamp on his bed stand and turned off everything else. Closing the curtains, he could see enough but it wasn't bright.  
He sat on the bed and sniffed his clothes. They were his best pjs. He wasn't sure what to wear but most of his clothes were either sporty or just very comfortable sweats so he just opted for something that would accentuate the fact that he had just showered and was ready for bed. 

There was a knock at the door. Yuuri rushed out, almost tripping over his own feet as he opened his door and stumbled over to open the front door.  
Victor was wearing a brown jacket with a grey sweater, looking very groomed. He looked just as nervous as Yuuri felt.  
"Hi" said Victor.  
"Come on in."  
They went inside together, and suddenly they were sitting on Yuuri's bed.  
"Your room is very nice" said Victor. Again sounding like a learning cassette tape.  
"Thank you" replied Yuuri. also feeling robotic. 

There was a moment of silence, it almost felt like they were in a church or something. And Yuuri couldn't bear it anymore so he turned and smashed his lips against Victor's. Victor held him around the hips so that Yuuri wouldn't fall as he leaned over. Their teeth clacked together and Victor lay down for room.  
Victor 'oofed' as Yuuri fell on him, his hips colliding a little with Victor's groin.  
"Sorry" he whispered.  
And they fell into a kiss again. Yuuri could feel that they were kissing but he was too nervous to enjoy it. His tongue felt like dead weight in his mouth. And his mouth felt moist and sticky. 

Victor flipped them over, his jacket sliding off down the mattress and onto the floor. Yuuri helped to take off the sweater. Despite the awkwardness they were still turned on. Victor had his hands under his pjs, stroking his hips, stomach and chest as they kissed. Yuuri gripped the wall connected to his bed so he wouldn't bump into it. If this turned anymore awkward he feared he might die. 

When he was sure he wouldn't be having a head-to-wall accident, Yuuri took his hand off the wall and felt Victor's muscular chest and pebbled ridges of his nipples and his hands slid down to his jeans, helping Victor unbutton it. Victor took off his jeans and briefs. His hard on springing up as it was released. Yuuri stared at it, wondering if he should try to touch it or something. But he felt too stiff and Victor looked like he was waiting for something so Yuuri took off his own pjs and boxers, Victor staring at his every move. 

"The lube is..." Yuuri motioned toward over his head.  
Victor moved toward it and pushed the lamp off the bed stand with a crash while trying to get the stuff.  
"Sorry" Victor whispered. It was much darker now.  
"It's okay... Can you see?"  
Victor came back to him and nodded, there was a crinkle and he heard the condom being put on. Victor squeezed out the lube and he felt fingers at his entrance. He gasped at the feeling. It stung more than it had last time and it made him grip the bed sheets and grit his teeth. 

Yuuri quickly pulled Victor towards him, kissing his chin and face, as Victor's fingers steadily burrowed inside. It still burned but he just wanted Victor to get it over with, he could feel Victor's shoulder shaking with tension and he was impatient for release. 

At last he felt something much more solid nudge at his entrance and he felt Victor's back shake as he tried to push in, his breath hitching against Yuuri's ear. Yuuri smoothed his hand over Victor's back and looked up at the ceiling. Trying hard to relax and take it all in. It felt too big and it wouldn't go in. So Victor gave a hard push and-  
"Ahh!" he screamed.  
Victor stopped dead. Yuuri felt his hands pushing Victor away, the pain sharp and overwhelming.  
"Get it out! Get it out!" he heard himself saying.  
Yuuri felt the weight lift, a rushed whisper of 'sorry' and the bed dipped with Victor on the other side.  
The silence was deafening. The most terrible silence to ever exist. He could see Victor hunched over. He felt embarrassed for the both of them.  
The pain had completely gone away, leaving him with just an intense flush of humiliation around his middle.  
"I'm sorry" said Yuuri, sitting up. What else was there to say?  
"It's... okay..."  
Yuuri wanted to put on some clothes but right now it felt too much like rubbing salt on the wound.  
They stayed like that for a while, until Victor started to stand up.  
"Do you want to try again?" Yuuri offered. They both knew it was purely out of courtesy.  
"No" Victor muttered, "it's too much pressure now."  
Yuuri nodded.  
They dressed and Victor left with a quiet goodbye. 

"We said sorry so many times, it was like we were meeting just to apologize" said Yuuri while eating the cookies his friends had bought him. They were on the sofa with their breakfast and Yuuri's birthday presents. Phichit had come in the morning and had managed to dig the truth out of him while they cooked toast.  
"Much condolences I guess" said Phichit.  
They were going through the gifts. A lot of it was food or stuff with fake food on it, which irritated Yuuri to no end. Someone had even sent him a stuffed pig.  
"It was so much easier with Chris... I don't know what happened..." he said.  
"Wait, Chris? You slept with him too?? What the hell Yuuri that is so freaky!" said Phichit, laughing.  
"Wow Yuuri, you're a freak! A sex freak" Yuuri threw a toast at his head as Phichit continued to laugh out loud. They kept digging into the bag of presents.  
"Look! Yuuri. Happy birthday, Love Victor" said Phichit, waving the little card around and shoving it into his face.  
"Love, Yuuri! Luuuurve."  
Yuuri took the glistening green package. He tore off the wrapper to reveal a small dark green paper box. Inside, surrounded by a bed of soft white cotton, was a mistletoe.  
"Hah! I bet that means he wants to kiss you on Christmas! That's his birthday too by the way, did you know?" Phichit chatted. "But I guess you gave him more than a kiss right? And much sooner."  
Yuuri stood up.  
"I have to go."

He knocked on the door of Victor and Chris' apartment. It was Chris who answered.  
"Hey babe, what's up?"  
Chris leaned against the door, his tone suggestive. Yuuri frantically looked around. He could hear the poodle barking.  
"Do you know where Victor is?  
"Oh Victor?" said Chris, eyebrows wriggling. Yuuri had to stop himself from sighing. "He's probably at the rink."  
"Thanks Chris!"  
He turned his back, rushing away.  
"Anytime~"

Victor was on the ice. Yuuri hurriedly put on his skates. Grateful that they were alone. He flew over to Victor and crashed into him. Victor looked down at him with wide eyes. His hands around his shoulders to steady him.  
Yuuri pushed off a little and opened his hand to reveal the mistletoe. A little crushed and dry.  
Victor smiled.  
"So you got the present..."  
Yuuri looked up at him.  
"How could you do that?" he felt tears threatening to appear.  
Victor looked confused.  
"You were going out with this other girl and you give me this?"  
Victor smiled again.  
"I wasn't going out with her. I was just trying to make you jealous."  
Tears spilled down Yuuri's face. Victor, surprised, tried to hold his shoulder again.  
"Well... Well done Victor, great job! I was jealous!" Yuuri yelled. Victor put down his hand. His cheeks pink and eyes wide.  
"I was so jealous I couldn't even skate! You made me so jealous I slept with Chris!"  
Victor had his hand over his mouth. He couldn't tell if he was crying or laughing.  
Yuuri wiped his face viciously with his forearms. Victor pushed towards him and put his arm around him. Their cheeks touching as Victor whispered to him.  
"I'm sorry I made you sleep with Chris" he said, "I'll make it up to you I promise."  
Yuuri let out a watery laugh.  
"Can we go out now?" he asked.  
"Do you want to?"  
"Yes I want to"  
Victor grinned.  
"What if you get jealous again?"  
"I guess I'm going to have to work harder now, and make you jealous" said Yuuri, pulling Victor's head towards him.  
He could feel Victor's smile as they kissed.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to make it into a Christmas party at first then I thought, do I really want to make Yuuri sleep with Chris on Victor's birthday? And it felt kind of eek:/ and anyway the present thing would have become too unnatural. But I did the mistletoe thing so!!! Christmas!!! Happy Birthday Vicky!!  
> I'm sorry I couldn't write all my favourite Characters but I am planning to post something with a lot of Yurio so! Please look forward! >.<  
> Hope you enjoyed, please comment and Kudos!


End file.
